This is a wonderfully entertaining, sometimes humorous, sometimes
shocking, sometimes challenging, but always entertaining account of this
man’s life. Many other men can only fantasize about what he has
experienced. Could the variety and extent of his sexual world really
belong to one man? How did he keep this side of his life secret? What
trigger points in his life can explain his behaviour?
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was a leather armchair in the corner across from me, and next to it some kind
of apparatus against the wall. I wasn’t sure what it was but it looked
like something you could use to restrain someone. It might be my first
time here, but I knew where I was and had some idea of what went on. Or at
least, I thought I did. It was like a large “X” shape and had small metal
eye hooks attached at various points. It had a foreboding look, but at the same
time I was excited and intrigued looking at it. I would later learn that
it’s called a St Andrews Cross, and I would come to love the view from it, with
my arms and legs spread, and my naked body shackled against it. But that
would all come later, as I dived headlong into the exciting world of
BDSM. For now I felt like a country rube that had been dropped into the
middle of Times Square.
were other various loose items around the room, on shelves and hanging from the
walls. There were masks, whips and dildos. Lots of leather. I
smiled to myself through my inebriated haze, ‘lots of leather, what did I
expect?’ Even without visiting a dungeon, everyone who thinks about it has the
stereotypical images of a mistress. Tall, dressed in tight leather
outfits, long leather boots, and the mandatory leather whip. But in the
end, mistresses come in all shapes and sizes and dress in all kinds of ways,
although always sexily. They are such delicious creatures.
while I heard footsteps approach the door. It opened quietly and the
receptionist came into the room with my drink.
you are,” she said, handing me the glass. “The mistresses won’t be long
now. Make yourself comfortable.”
thanked her as she left the room, and drank my scotch, syphoning it through the
ice she had put in the glass and drained it in a gulp. I remember
thinking it was way too much ice, and made a mental note to pass on the coke
next time. I placed the glass on the table and stood up, wondering where
I’d be most comfortable, and whether I should be sitting or standing when the
mistresses came in. I decided to sit, and went to the other side of the
room and sat in the armchair, next to the St Andrews cross. The armchair
was facing the door directly, and diagonally opposite. I sat and
waited. My mind was numb with anticipation……and what the fuck was taking
so long! It was like time had gone into slow motion. I
couldn’t think anymore, wondering what was going to happen, and what it would
be like, so I tried to sit quietly, and waited.
time when the door opened I got my first look at a Mistress.
“a dark journey into the Light”, “50 Shades of Truth” is the story of
one man’s journey through and out of the world of BDSM. Josef takes the
reader through the incidents in his childhood that he feels precipitated
his interest in the world of bondage and discipline and uses encounters
from his 60 year journey to explain his path and the mental and
emotional consequences that he is still working through.Josef
describes for the reader the life of lies and deceit that he was forced
to live because of his participation in bondage. He details his
encounters with transvestites, mistresses and gay men, and takes you
through his thought processes during these encounters and afterward. The
depth of his guilt and shame over these encounters is evident but also
evident is the complete control that his urges for this type of behavior
exhibited over him.
The writing in this book is top-notch. The
writer’s style is clear and approachable and made the book easy to read.
This book would, however, not be suitable for younger readers due to
the language and the explicit descriptions of sexual scenes. Josef’s
urges, as described here, feel like an addiction and as with most
addictions he makes many attempts to change before finally being able to
succeed with the help of a therapist. The struggle the author felt as
he watched his urges destroy two marriages and several other
relationships is palpable.
Josef also goes into great detail
about how he views the role of the Catholic Church, where he was raised,
in developing his feelings of guilt and shame about the activities
which gave him such pleasure. He also goes into his views on how
society’s attitudes toward sex make life more difficult for people like
him. Josef points out to us the humanity of those people who are
involved in the sex industry and presents them to us as people just
wanting to have a life they can enjoy. Josef does not push the reader to
want to participate in this world but he does push for it to be
accepted by non-participants as a valid choice for an individual.
obvious readers of this book are people who also engage in the world of
bondage and enjoy reading about it. But I think this book could also be
a good choice for people who would like a greater understanding of
something they are not already familiar with and also for those who
enjoy stories about people who struggle but find their victory in the
end. Josef exposes some very ugly truths in his book and he bares his
soul to his readers. I believe there are some who will take courage from
this story and be able to apply that to their own lives. I tip my hat
to Josef for being willing to share his story with the world and
allowing his readers to make up their own minds about whether they are
willing to change their viewpoints after reading it.
Reviewed at the Hungry Monster Book Review